Life in the Crone Lane

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about relationships, and friendships. Since my marriage fell apart, and after a decades-long friendship died a slow and painful death a few years ago, it gives me pause. Am I being the best friend I can be? Am I doing my part in building or destroying these relationships?

I found online a list of six signs of a healthy relationship from http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/6-signs-youre-in-a-healthy-relationship-1096749/. I think that, while not every relationship is toxic, and not every relationship failure is your fault, we as human beings have to step back and assess from time to time whether or not we are holding up our end of the relationship bargain. Conversely, if we run through this assessment and feel that we are fine, we can ask ourselves if our relationship partner (spouse, friend, co-worker, etc.) is possibly being toxic to us.

Here are the six signs:

1. Loyalty
2. Respect
3. Unconditionally “there.”
4. Trustworthy
5. A genuine sounding board
6. Dependability

I can already tell you that several of my relationships don’t meet these criteria on several levels, both on my end and my friend’s end. And while I can’t do anything about other people’s behavior in a relationship, I certainly can take a look in the mirror and work on being a better friend/partner/co-worker.
What traits do you look for in a friend or partner? Are your relationships healthy?